"Little Jack Horner's New Gravesite" LbNA #20354
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Add Location| Owner: | N/A |
|---|---|
| Plant date: | Feb 4, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| City: | Phillipsburg |
| County: | Phillips |
| State: | Kansas |
| Boxes: | 1 |
| Planted by: | Rad Rhymer
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|---|---|
| Found by: | Eidolon |
| Last found: | Oct 5, 2014 |
| Status: | FFFFF |
| Last edited: | Oct 13, 2015 |
Headline News! Little Jack Horner’s body has been recovered! Found him in the Branding Iron, third table from the back, wearin’ a yellow hat and snarfin’ down scrambled eggs. Danged if I know where he got the hat! Scrambled eggs either, for that matter. All the waitresses swear they never waited on him.
Now, if you remember, Jack was buried in a cement vault, just a little northwest of the Branding Iron restaurant there in Phillipsburg, before his grave was so rudely demolished. He’s been replanted in a new vicinity, and I’ll tell you how to get there, if you’d care to pay your respects the second time around. First, take off from where ol’ Jack’s grave used to be, and just keep right on going west down Highway 36. Go right on through town, past the stoplights, past the bank and don’t stop until you see the Mark V Motel on your left. Then turn south on the road running west of it. Whoa! Don’t go too far! Veer off to the west again, and go past the little white country schoolhouse. You’ll find yourself on the north side of the City Park. That’s W. Ridge Road. Keep going west approximately 5 miles until you come to 500 Rd. Then turn south and go one and a half miles. There on the right side of the road, you’ll see the cemetery. Open the gate and go on in. Walk in, don’t drive! Now, stop for a moment and look toward the west. See that one lonely tombstone clear out there on the western outskirts of the cemetery, off in the distance, down in the boonies, there in the draw, out in center field, over the hill, halfway to Timbuc..…..well, never mind. You get the idea. It’s all by itself, just a standin’ out there away from all the rest! A real loner, if I ever saw one! Don’t know the gentleman buried there. Maybe it’s some of Jack’s kin. Maybe it ain’t. Anyhow, if you’ll notice, there’s a nice big cedar tree just north of it. Well, it might pay to snoop around that ol’ tree. If you hear HARD ROCK music, you’ll know Jack’s close by.
A large crowd attended Jack’s burial. Although Taps was not played, some brought their horns, just in case. Nobody said a word, with the exception of one lady near the front who calmly commented, “Mooooooo!”
Ol’ Jack looked real good when they buried him, nice yellow hat and all. Matched the scrambled egg on his front teeth. Jack seems very content in his new resting place, except for one thing. He’s buried in a round coffin. Now, ordinarily, that wouldn’t be a problem but it seems ol’ Jack is hankerin’ to eat that juicy plum on his thumb, but he can’t find a corner to sit in!
By the way, I just read an interesting article in the Phillips County Review last week. It said, “Branding Iron customer found bound and gagged in the back storeroom of the restaurant.” Talked like the poor guy was sort of dazed and confused. Kept muttering something like, “Where’s my yellow hat? Where’s my scrambled eggs?”
Rest in Peace, Jack!
Now, if you remember, Jack was buried in a cement vault, just a little northwest of the Branding Iron restaurant there in Phillipsburg, before his grave was so rudely demolished. He’s been replanted in a new vicinity, and I’ll tell you how to get there, if you’d care to pay your respects the second time around. First, take off from where ol’ Jack’s grave used to be, and just keep right on going west down Highway 36. Go right on through town, past the stoplights, past the bank and don’t stop until you see the Mark V Motel on your left. Then turn south on the road running west of it. Whoa! Don’t go too far! Veer off to the west again, and go past the little white country schoolhouse. You’ll find yourself on the north side of the City Park. That’s W. Ridge Road. Keep going west approximately 5 miles until you come to 500 Rd. Then turn south and go one and a half miles. There on the right side of the road, you’ll see the cemetery. Open the gate and go on in. Walk in, don’t drive! Now, stop for a moment and look toward the west. See that one lonely tombstone clear out there on the western outskirts of the cemetery, off in the distance, down in the boonies, there in the draw, out in center field, over the hill, halfway to Timbuc..…..well, never mind. You get the idea. It’s all by itself, just a standin’ out there away from all the rest! A real loner, if I ever saw one! Don’t know the gentleman buried there. Maybe it’s some of Jack’s kin. Maybe it ain’t. Anyhow, if you’ll notice, there’s a nice big cedar tree just north of it. Well, it might pay to snoop around that ol’ tree. If you hear HARD ROCK music, you’ll know Jack’s close by.
A large crowd attended Jack’s burial. Although Taps was not played, some brought their horns, just in case. Nobody said a word, with the exception of one lady near the front who calmly commented, “Mooooooo!”
Ol’ Jack looked real good when they buried him, nice yellow hat and all. Matched the scrambled egg on his front teeth. Jack seems very content in his new resting place, except for one thing. He’s buried in a round coffin. Now, ordinarily, that wouldn’t be a problem but it seems ol’ Jack is hankerin’ to eat that juicy plum on his thumb, but he can’t find a corner to sit in!
By the way, I just read an interesting article in the Phillips County Review last week. It said, “Branding Iron customer found bound and gagged in the back storeroom of the restaurant.” Talked like the poor guy was sort of dazed and confused. Kept muttering something like, “Where’s my yellow hat? Where’s my scrambled eggs?”
Rest in Peace, Jack!