Toothless LbNA #12753 (ARCHIVED)
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Add Location| Owner: | Adoptable |
|---|---|
| Plant date: | Dec 22, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| City: | Phillipsburg |
| County: | Phillips |
| State: | Kansas |
| Boxes: | 1 |
| Planted by: | Rad Rhymer  |
|---|---|
| Found by: | Azroadie |
| Last found: | Sep 21, 2008 |
| Status: | FFFFa |
| Last edited: | Dec 22, 2004 |
THIS BOX NO LONGER IS IN EXISTENCE.
Old Santa’s elf, Keith, was a strange little sprite! He was Santa’s right hand on the Christmas Eve flight. But, that elf chewed tobacco, and there on the way, he kept spitting out over the edge of the sleigh!
Then it happened! Somewhere over Kansas, old Keith gave a mighty “pttttttooooie!” and out flew his teeth! To the ground, zoomed those choppers, and Keith gave a shout, “Land the sleigh, Santa! Quick!” Boy, was he freakin’ out!
“Don’t have time!” Santa yelled. “Got a schedule to keep! We’ll come back later on, after I’ve had some sleep!” Well, poor Keith had to listen. He couldn’t insist, but old Santa was not at the top of his list!
Well, as soon as their journey was over that night, Santa jumped into bed and was out like a light. But, poor Keith wasn’t sleepy. It boggled his brains when he thought of his dentures out there on the plains.
That old elf was depressed. “Man! This sucks!” muttered Keith, “All that candy and popcorn, and me with no teeth!” He just sat there alone, like a bump on a log, in a chair by the fire, piggin’ out on eggnog.
Then, he had an idea. “Aha!” cried that elf. “I’ll just hitch up those reindeer and go by myself! I can surely sneak out while old Santa’s asleep. I’ll be quiet as a mouse and I won’t make a peep.”
Well, what Keith didn’t know was, an elf known as Glen was quite jealous, and mad as a little wet hen. Seems he wanted to go with old Santa himself, and insisted that Santa had picked the wrong elf!
So, what did he do? Why, that dirty old dog found a bottle of gin and he spiked the eggnog! When Keith hitched up that sleigh, he was feeling just great, but I fear the old boy wasn’t trackin’ too straight!
First, he watered Rudolph with a jug of eggnog, then he jumped in that sleigh and took off in a fog. On his face was a big, goofy grin a mile wide, and a gallon of eggnog was there by his side.
“On, Masher! On, Dagwood! On, Dexter!” he cried. “On, Victor and Vomit! Get ready to ride! On, Stupid! On, Dipstick! On, Blistex! Move out! It’s foggy out, Adolph, so plug in your snout!”
Now, it made all those reindeer a little bit cross, when they saw that old Keith had been hittin’ the sauce, but as time went along, they were even more shocked when they realized Rudolph was totally crocked!
We’re headin’ for Kansas,” Keith said, with a shout, “cause that’s where my dad-gummed old choppers fell out! First, go right! No, go left! No, go south, that’s the best! Now, go straight in a circle and turn to the west!”
First forward, then backward, then sideways they cruised, and those poor, dizzy reindeer were thoroughly confused! They were all pretty worried and filled with distress... that is, all except Rudolph who couldn’t care less.
That old reindeer, I fear, wasn't flying too straight, but at last, there they were, in the Sunflower State! “Hey! That’s Phillipsburg there down below us!” yelled Keith. “That’s the town we were over when I lost my teeth!”
“Whoa, there, Randolph!” Keith yelled. Then they made their descent, dropping down from the sky like a sack of cement! On the top of the courthouse, they landed, “kerplunk,” with one elf and one reindeer as drunk as a skunk!
“Move it, Radcliff!” Keith shouted. “We’ve no time to rest!” So down 36 Highway they flew, heading west. Then they made a left turn at the old one-room school, just across from the place with a bed and a pool.
They passed a small house, which once stood by the tracks, then they whizzed by a refuge from Indian attacks. They turned west on the road with a bridge at the end, then they headed straight north as they rounded the bend.
They parked in the parkway just east of the creek, and Keith yelled, “This looks promising! Let’s take a peek!” A little rock footbridge ran west ‘cross the way, so he threw down the reins and jumped out of the sleigh.
He crossed that short bridge, then he stood there real still. Should he climb up those rock steps that went up the hill? “Well, why not?” he decided. “I’ll just look around.” Then he quickly climbed up to a little campground.
At the top of the stairsteps, he took a short rest, then took off to the double Y’s straight to the west. Just behind, stood a little white post, straight and tall, so he turned to the right and he counted them all.
Just beyond the ninth post, he discovered a tree that stood there by a hole, just as plain as could be, so he started to search, and imagine his shock when he found his teeth there in a hole by a rock!
Well, old Keith was ecstatic, no ifs ands or buts! He just popped in those teeth and yelled, “Bring on the nuts!” Then that elf took off running and laughing with glee – down the steps, ‘cross the bridge, loudly yelling, “Whoopee!”
Then he jumped in the sleigh with a skip and a hop, and they weaved their way back to old Santa’s workshop. Santa couldn’t quite figure it out, bless his soul, how those teeth got from Kansas back to the North Pole!
And it puzzled him just why Keith’s eyes were so red, and why there was an ice bag on old Rudolph’s head, but it baffled him most when he heard that elf say, “Think I’ll stick to plain water. It’s safer that way!”
Old Santa’s elf, Keith, was a strange little sprite! He was Santa’s right hand on the Christmas Eve flight. But, that elf chewed tobacco, and there on the way, he kept spitting out over the edge of the sleigh!
Then it happened! Somewhere over Kansas, old Keith gave a mighty “pttttttooooie!” and out flew his teeth! To the ground, zoomed those choppers, and Keith gave a shout, “Land the sleigh, Santa! Quick!” Boy, was he freakin’ out!
“Don’t have time!” Santa yelled. “Got a schedule to keep! We’ll come back later on, after I’ve had some sleep!” Well, poor Keith had to listen. He couldn’t insist, but old Santa was not at the top of his list!
Well, as soon as their journey was over that night, Santa jumped into bed and was out like a light. But, poor Keith wasn’t sleepy. It boggled his brains when he thought of his dentures out there on the plains.
That old elf was depressed. “Man! This sucks!” muttered Keith, “All that candy and popcorn, and me with no teeth!” He just sat there alone, like a bump on a log, in a chair by the fire, piggin’ out on eggnog.
Then, he had an idea. “Aha!” cried that elf. “I’ll just hitch up those reindeer and go by myself! I can surely sneak out while old Santa’s asleep. I’ll be quiet as a mouse and I won’t make a peep.”
Well, what Keith didn’t know was, an elf known as Glen was quite jealous, and mad as a little wet hen. Seems he wanted to go with old Santa himself, and insisted that Santa had picked the wrong elf!
So, what did he do? Why, that dirty old dog found a bottle of gin and he spiked the eggnog! When Keith hitched up that sleigh, he was feeling just great, but I fear the old boy wasn’t trackin’ too straight!
First, he watered Rudolph with a jug of eggnog, then he jumped in that sleigh and took off in a fog. On his face was a big, goofy grin a mile wide, and a gallon of eggnog was there by his side.
“On, Masher! On, Dagwood! On, Dexter!” he cried. “On, Victor and Vomit! Get ready to ride! On, Stupid! On, Dipstick! On, Blistex! Move out! It’s foggy out, Adolph, so plug in your snout!”
Now, it made all those reindeer a little bit cross, when they saw that old Keith had been hittin’ the sauce, but as time went along, they were even more shocked when they realized Rudolph was totally crocked!
We’re headin’ for Kansas,” Keith said, with a shout, “cause that’s where my dad-gummed old choppers fell out! First, go right! No, go left! No, go south, that’s the best! Now, go straight in a circle and turn to the west!”
First forward, then backward, then sideways they cruised, and those poor, dizzy reindeer were thoroughly confused! They were all pretty worried and filled with distress... that is, all except Rudolph who couldn’t care less.
That old reindeer, I fear, wasn't flying too straight, but at last, there they were, in the Sunflower State! “Hey! That’s Phillipsburg there down below us!” yelled Keith. “That’s the town we were over when I lost my teeth!”
“Whoa, there, Randolph!” Keith yelled. Then they made their descent, dropping down from the sky like a sack of cement! On the top of the courthouse, they landed, “kerplunk,” with one elf and one reindeer as drunk as a skunk!
“Move it, Radcliff!” Keith shouted. “We’ve no time to rest!” So down 36 Highway they flew, heading west. Then they made a left turn at the old one-room school, just across from the place with a bed and a pool.
They passed a small house, which once stood by the tracks, then they whizzed by a refuge from Indian attacks. They turned west on the road with a bridge at the end, then they headed straight north as they rounded the bend.
They parked in the parkway just east of the creek, and Keith yelled, “This looks promising! Let’s take a peek!” A little rock footbridge ran west ‘cross the way, so he threw down the reins and jumped out of the sleigh.
He crossed that short bridge, then he stood there real still. Should he climb up those rock steps that went up the hill? “Well, why not?” he decided. “I’ll just look around.” Then he quickly climbed up to a little campground.
At the top of the stairsteps, he took a short rest, then took off to the double Y’s straight to the west. Just behind, stood a little white post, straight and tall, so he turned to the right and he counted them all.
Just beyond the ninth post, he discovered a tree that stood there by a hole, just as plain as could be, so he started to search, and imagine his shock when he found his teeth there in a hole by a rock!
Well, old Keith was ecstatic, no ifs ands or buts! He just popped in those teeth and yelled, “Bring on the nuts!” Then that elf took off running and laughing with glee – down the steps, ‘cross the bridge, loudly yelling, “Whoopee!”
Then he jumped in the sleigh with a skip and a hop, and they weaved their way back to old Santa’s workshop. Santa couldn’t quite figure it out, bless his soul, how those teeth got from Kansas back to the North Pole!
And it puzzled him just why Keith’s eyes were so red, and why there was an ice bag on old Rudolph’s head, but it baffled him most when he heard that elf say, “Think I’ll stick to plain water. It’s safer that way!”