Total Distance: 1 mile
Number of boxes: 7 (one for every day of the cycle!)
Checked and in place 4/08.
PLEASE BE DISCREET AND RESEAL AND REHIDE THESE BOXES CAREFULLY!
What’s wrong? Not feeling your self lately? Finding it hard to zip up your favorite jeans? Feel like crying for no apparent reason? Do you feel like eating an entire turtle cheesecake and then running people over with your car? There could only be one explanation for this…. “Aunt Flo” is coming for a visit soon. Hey, don’t let those hormones get the best of you! Why not go letterboxing!?! The fresh air and exercise will do you good!
This series, dedicated to the vexation of every woman, is located at Fox River Park in Waukesha, Wisconsin. (There is a fee to enter the park. In 2006 the fee is $5.00 per vehicle on weekends or $ 2.50 per vehicle on weekdays unless you have an annual Waukesha County Park Sticker.)
To start the search, park your vehicle at the park office lot. Cross over the drive and head north on the paved walkway. After about 15 paces, soon you see a trail heading west into the woods. The trail is marked with a brown post with red, blue and green bands around it.
As you walk along the wooded path, contemplate the miracle of life and how it follows circadian rhythms, with everything following its pre-programmed patterns. The sun, the moon, plant life, your body, the spin cycle on your washer...After strolling leisurely for about 50 yards, you will see that the trail takes a distinct curve between two trees. Just after the trees, walk 15 paces to a stump on the left. At the stump, take a bearing of 40 and look for the gang of 8. Reach up and inside the hollow one to find some salty snacks! Stamp up, discreetly re-hide the box and go back to the main trail heading north.
Walk along on the trail for a bit, and you will soon notice at the bottom of the slope, on the left is a big pile of garbage – rusty pipes, metal things, an old water heater...You might start thinking to yourself, “Tsk, tsk! What a shame! People can be so inconsiderate and wasteful by throwing their trash in a park and causing pollution!” As you continue on, you start to think, “People can be so hateful! Why can’t we all just get along? Like my mother – why isn’t anything good enough for her? And that backstabbing tramp at the office...” All these negative thoughts cloud your mind and you begin to get really emotional and cry. Better get some tissues! As you proceed back up the slope, you will see a decaying tree on the left, about 10 paces off the trail. Go to the tree and look in a spot on the southwest side of the tree trunk. Get out the tissues, stamp up, and have a good cry. Doesn’t that feel better? Are you ready to go on? Good, because I’ve got just the thing to cheer you up!
Go back to the main trail and carry on in a northern direction. The trail will curve, sloping down and up again. At the top of the slope, as you come to a spot where you are in line with the red shack seen in the distance to the left, turn right into the woods and walk 20 paces to a patch of trees. Find the tree with a hollow side facing south. Inside this hollow part of the tree is some yummy chocolate! (***This box had gone missing and is now replaced with a micro box! It is very small and does not have a logbook in it.) You wonder to yourself why no one has thought to invent chocolate in the form of an IV drip, or a better yet -a device similar to a beer hat, but featuring bottles of Hershey’s syrup instead. Have some chocolate, stamp up and get ready to move on, now that you have some extra energy from the chocolate buzz.
Back to the trail, and head north again! You know what would be great right now? A nice martini! You know, isn’t it funny how a nice stiff drink can cure a multitude of P.M.S. symptoms? Heck, after a few of them, you don’t really feel anything – much less cramps and headaches! Hooray for booze! Walk along the trail until you get to another three-colored post, (the one that looks like it would make nice stir stick for the gigantic martini you wish you were drinking right now!) Now, do a 180 and head back on the trail for about 40 paces. Spot the multi-trunked tree on the right, about 13 paces into the woods. Hidden in the trunk is your martini! (What kind will it be? A traditional martini? A chocolate martini, a dirty martini, or a lemon drop? The choice is yours! What ever sinks your ship!) After stamping up and re-hiding the box, head back down the trail to the three-colored post.
At the post, you will see that there are a few different directions to go. Turn to the right so that you are headed down the red trail. (That’s right, you’re on the crimson trail! No coincidence here!) Here’s where things might get a little complicated, so pay close attention! Walk about 50 paces down the trail, and you will see a tall, leaning, split tree trunk on your right. From that point, walk about 55 paces to the large tree right off of the trail on your left. Walk 50 more paces to see a pile of large sticks on the right. (Geeze! All this counting is starting to give you a headache! You’re starting to feel pretty stressed and frustrated, too! Better get some of “Mommy’s Little Helpers” to take the edge off! Prozac, Midol, Valium, Advil, whatever you feel you need!) Walk a little longer and you will see a tree with shaggy bark on the left of the trail. 35 paces from there, you will see a large tree on the left about 18 paces. This tree has a hole that runs straight through the bottom of it. The medication letterbox is hidden inside this trunk. As you take out the box, you start to think to yourself, “Golly, that hole is big enough to drive a toy car through!” Then you start thinking about toys and children, which makes you begin to think about your biological time clock and how it’s ticking away...And then, you start getting really sad again. Don’t cry! Quick get the medication out, stamp up, and return back to the trail! We’re almost done, girlfriend!
Walk down the trail for about 50 paces. On the left about 15 paces off the trail, you will see a tree trunk with a point sticking upward. Go inspect this trunk closer, and you will find a warm and cozy water bottle! That’s just the ticket for those nasty back and abdomen cramps! Get the box, stamp up and return to the trail. Now, lets see what we’ve got here...Salty snacks? Check! Tissues for your ‘issues’? Check! Chocolate? Check! Adult beverages? Check! Medication? Check! Hot water bottle to snuggle with? Check! Now, all you need to make yourself feel better is a nice, juicy movie to watch! Yeah, a chick flick! Something with some humor, some romance and some hot-looking men! That will get your mind off things, and put you in a good mood! (My personal favorites are “Some Like It Hot,” ”Real Women Have Curves” and “Amelie”. If you haven’t seen any of these awesome movies yet, I highly recommend them!)
Continue along the trail and you will notice it does kind of an “S” curve. Right in the middle of the curve, look to the right into the woods and you will see a tree that is broken in two. (If you get to the paved path, you have gone too far!) Go 10 paces into the woods to this tree and reach inside the part that is bent over to find the box containing some chick flicks! (Ooooh! I hope Antonio Banderas is in one of them!) Stamp up and replace the box, taking special caution to be discreet because this is a pretty busy area in the park.
Now you have completed the series and have successfully overcome your P.M.S.! You rock, sister! Head to the paved path, go west, and head back to the lot where you parked your car. On the drive home, be sure to crank the tunes and sing really loud to the songs on the radio, behaving like the diva that you are!
(Extra kudos to all of you male letterboxers who got dragged into doing this series or even chose to do it on your own! You’re still very masculine in our book!)
(Special thanks to Geisha of JP2 , Wisconsin Hiker and Jigsaw for their help, support and encouragement for this letterbox series!)
Please feel free to give us feedback and updates as to the condition of the boxes! We hope you've enjoyed this series!