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The Legend of "Show-Me" LbNA #27769

Owner:Adoptable
Plant date:Dec 23, 2006
Location:
City:Kansas City
County:Jackson
State:Missouri
Boxes:1
Planted by:Chieftain
Found by: Bumqueesha
Last found:Mar 19, 2008
Status:FFFFFFa
Last edited:Dec 23, 2006
UPDATE..."SHOW-ME" HAS BEEN REPLACED AT A NEARBY SITE AS OF DECEMBER 24, 2010...READ ON!

THE LEGEND!!!

On a nearby road, not so long ago, a family from Hermann was vacationing in Kansas City. They were all having a great time having watched the Chiefs trounce the Broncos and spending hours of sailing on Smithville Lake. Especially happy was their little daughter, Tiffilina, who had brought her favorite stuffed dog, affectionately known as "Show-Me".

While driving along the Missouri River, the daughter lost her grip on Show-Me as she dangled him from the RX300's window. Heeding Tiffilina's cries, the family stopped and searched diligently but to no avail; Show-Me was lost and Tiffilina was heartbroken!!

Years passed and the highway department eventually swept Show-Me into a pile of debris on the bank of the Mighty Mo.

More months passed until four happy and well-adjusted tourists happened by and chose a spot nearby to stop for a picnic. As Valley Girl and SweetTooth gorged themselves on cheese, sausage, crackers and other carbohydrates, Chieftain and Big Screen wandered over to view the nearby river. As they turned to retrace their steps, lo and behold, they encountered Show-Me; forlorn in the pile of trash! Although Chieftain would have continued on, giving no further thought to their discovery, Big Screen was frozen in his tracks, transfixed eye to button-eye with Show-Me. Curious, Chieftain turned back and said "What gives, He-Who-Orders-Last??" After a long pause, Big Screen responded "I...I don't know, but the spirit of this dog spoke to me and told me that he is seeking his long-lost owner and I must help him to start his journey". Chieftain said "I didn't see you drinking before we left the motel!!" With a transcendental calm, Big Screen said "I know this is hard for you to understand but I have a connection with the world beyond...remember my encounter with the aliens in our valley back home?" "Oh-kayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!", whispered Chieftain to himself.

They slowly returned to the picnic site with Show-Me in tow. Upon seeing them, SweetTooth cheerily greeted them with "Ewwwwwwwwwwww, what is that gross thing you're carrying!!??" Big Screen related the story of his find and the message Show-Me had telepathically transmitted to him. SweetTooth looked at Valley Girl and whined "Why couldn't I have gotten a normal husband like you did?!" To which, Valley Girl responded, "Yeah, yeah...isn't there another bottle of Zinfandel in here somewhere?" SweetTooth then exclaimed, "Hey, Chieftain is drinking out of the bottle again!" to which Chieftain grunted "Belch!" (to no one's surprise).

On the drive back to the motel in Parkville the combination of wine and Big Screen's earnest retelling of his encounter with Show-Me convinced the others that for once in his life, Big Screen was right. (SweetTooth had always known that anytime she saw Big Screen's lips moving he was wrong, but this time was VERY different.) They all knew they had to help him on his quest, but how?

In their never ending hunt for food, SweetTooth and Valley Girl prevailed upon the group to go to Stroud's in search of sustenance. While enjoying their cinnamon rolls, the group told the "Waiter-Who-Looks-Like-Tiger Woods" their story of the quest to reunite Show-Me with his lost family. After he had submitted the foursome to successful breath-a-lizer tests, the waiter inspected Show-Me but could not achieve a similar bond such as Big Screen had. But he did give them a "doggy-bag" of chicken for Show-Me and sent them on their way with an admonition to check out the local Mexican restaurant the next night where a resident mystic might help them (he also advised them against any further driving that evening).

After another day of wine and crackers by the shores of the Missouri, the friends cautiously entered Margarita's in search of the "mystic". A friendly waitress approached and Big Screen related their tale and asked if the mystic could help. The waitress exclaimed "I don't know nuthin' about no mystic but we got margaritas on two fer one for Happy Hour!". "Ooo", squealed SweetTooth and Valley Girl simultaneously, "Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee!!!". "How embarassing!" muttered Chieftain and Big Screen to themselves as they shrank into their chairs.

So the sun dawned on another morning without any new insight into how to help Show-Me to be homeward bound. After another day of Heartland adventures the foursome headed for a well-deserved dinner at Gate's BBQ. But on the way, Valley Girl and SweetTooth uttered their nightly plea for "Happy-Hour-on-the-Missouri". "OK", rejoined Chieftain and Big Screen and they pulled into a small beach and boat ramp on the river.

As SweetTooth and Valley Girl were wolfing down their snacks and chugging wine, the spirit of Show-Me spoke to Big Screen and told him, "This is the place!".

Nearly in a trance from Show-Me (or perhaps the wine), Big Screen told the others of his vision that they were to launch Show-Me into the brown-capped flow of the Missouri and from here Show-Me would start his journey east to where little Tiffilina would rescue him from the river near her home so far away! Overcome with the solemnity and power of the moment, Valley Girl retorted in awe and with tear-stained cheeks, "There's got to be a Cabernet in this car someplace!"

And with that, Big Screen reverently strode to the riverside and with all his athletic might cast Show-Me a couple of feet into the river and all watched him float majestically on his way to Hermann?, or New Orleans?, or maybe just into the sandbar a couple of hundred yards downstream.

Nevertheless, such is the legend of Show-Me and this letterbox is planted in his honor. Please affix your names and stamps and while you are in Kansas City, scour the riverbanks to see if Show-Me needs another "boost" to help him on his way!! His little tail can only paddle so hard!

THE SECRET CLUES!!! (and some K.C. fun facts to know and tell!)

Since Tiffilina's family based their Kansas City adventures from Parkville, let's start there.

From downtown Parkville, head southeast on Highway 9. As you leave the downtown you will pass by Parkville's riverfront park. Spend some time there walking along the "Mighty Mo" enjoying "old man river" (the Missouri is the fifteenth longest river in the WORLD; what river is #1?).*

Continuing on, you will pass the back of the countywide-famous Riverside Red-X store (check it out if you are having a slow day). Further on, you will pass the Kansas City Water Works on your left. This facility provides clean water for the greater Kansas City area of 2,000,000 residents (how much of the daily flow of the river is sucked out for human use?).**

Now Highway 9 turns south and is named "Burlington Street". Keep going and cross the bridge whose name is "in season on Valentine's and Independence Days". At the south end of this bridge, take the exit onto Third Street and turn right. Drive .2 miles until you reach the intersection with the street whose name connotes "1,000". From this intersection, you will be looking at the nostalgic "City Market" which is home to many local produce vendors, restaurants and attractions. Spend some time here and check out the "Steamboat Arabia" museum. This holds the remarkably preserved remains of the sunken steamboat of that name and is a time capsule of the mid-nineteenth century (the remains of what animal were found when the steamboat was excavated?).***

Now if you are at the correct intersection, you should see a huge storehouse of "Cathay" foodstuffs to the northwest. Confirming this, turn right on "1,000" street and continue driving. This avenue becomes a viaduct (for you Marx Brothers fans; a Why-a-duck!). Follow it as you pass many haunted old relics of Kansas City's waterfront past that could tell great tales if they could speak (what service does the enormous old building on your right with the coal conveyor crossing your road provide to this day?)!****

Continue for .6 miles until you reach a small loop parking lot along the south side of the street and across from the Missouri. Park here and waddle across the street from the east end of the loop where you will find a sidewalk taking you to a very long sidewalk that parallels the river. You are now in the Richard L. Berkley Riverfront Park (his Honor, Mayor Berkley, was a fine civil servant who was somewhat rare because of what attribute?).*****

Facing the Mighty Mo, look for an interpretive sign on the river side of the sidewalk. It should be titled "Moving Soil, Sand & Sediment". Walk to the second light pole along the sidewalk to the west of this sign. Stand in front of this pole and look directly toward the river. You should see two ancient square concrete steamboat/barge mooring pilings at the top of the river bank. Walk 30 paces to the pilings and then observe the river bank below. You will see the remains of two wrecked and abandoned barges; how long do you think they have been there?******

Now return to the sidewalk and begin walking to the west, counting light poles as you go (yeah, yeah, I know this is higher math!). When you have reached number 18, stop. You should almost be to the old ASB railroad bridge and under the bridge you crossed to reach the south side of the river (what does the name ASB represent?).*******

Watch for trains. If you are fortunate you may see one cross the ASB!

To your right as you face west on the sidewalk you will see the river path descend in a series of switchbacks so that it will pass beneath the ASB bridge as it continues towards the land of the Jayhawks. Continue down the sidewalk into the switchbacks. Located in the middle of the switchbacks are deposits of rip-rap (limestone boulders placed to stabilize the bank during flood) and in the middle of that rip-rap is another light pole. Follow the path to where you are standing just below that pole. Now look about 3-4 feet downstream from the pole in the boulder field right against the retaining wall. There you will find a pile of smaller rocks about 6-9 inches in diameter.

Under these will be found the letterbox of Show-Me!!!

!!!!PLEASE REPLACE THE BOX AND BAG CAREFULLY AND COVER IT COMPLETELY AND DISCREETLY!!!!

ANSWERS TO TRIVIA...

* Nile (this is an out-of-state river).
** Less than two minutes; bottom line, although some communities must seriously conserve water, Kansas City isn't one so go ahead and take a good, long shower!
*** A mule, chained to the deck when it sank (and you thought the captain went down with the ship!).
**** Steam that is used to heat buildings in downtown Kansas City and North Kansas City.
***** He was a member of the party of Abraham Lincoln; a real rarity for a K.C. mayor!
****** At least since the 1960's! (I should know; I drove by them every weekday back then when I was a young pup commuting to UMKC.)
******* Armour, Swift, Burlington. The first two were major meat packers in the stockyards and the Burlington Railroad built the bridge for its trains.

*****STATUS UPDATE - AUGUST 25, 2010*****
I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT THE SITE HAS BEEN CLEANED BY THE CITY AND THE BOX IS KAPUT. WILL LET YOU KNOW IF I REPLACE.