A Tale of a Turtle LbNA # 28519 (ARCHIVED)
|Placed Date||Jan 30 2007|
|Location||Highway 16, NC|
I'm a mean, green, fighting machine! That describes me, a snapping turtle, to a T.
I don't go looking for trouble, but I don't let anyone push me around either. Not that they can--I weigh close to twenty pounds.
Look, I've paid my dues. I had a tough childhood. Back then I spent most of my time hiding under pond weeds from herons, gulls, muskrats, minks, raccoons, bigger turtles, bull frogs, and fish like bass and pike. I ate a lot of pond scum in those days.
Now the tables are turned. I go after a lot of those guys now. I surprise them with camouflage and speed. I wait just under the water looking like a moss-covered rock (it's this algae that grows on my shell), until one of those characters strolls by. Then, quick as a wink, I shoot out my neck and grab him with my razor-sharp jaws. My claws do the rest.
Yeah, I 've got a good, strong shell, wicked jaws, and I'm agile. And if I'm really ticked off, I let off my stink bomb--musk. Mucho offensive, you know? You've probably heard I can bite through a broom handle. Well, I can't. And besides, why would I want to? But you know what I like best about myself? My tail. It's as long as all the rest of me. Nice-looking, too.
I'm not into sunbathing like a lot of other turtle types are. Lying out on a log all day just makes you a sitting duck. Speaking of which, I could really go for a little duckling right about now. Hey, what's so bad about that? You eat chickens, don't you?
If you go swimming in my pond, you really don't have to worry about me. I don't go after people in the water. I'm too smart for that. I pull inside my shell (as much as I can fit; I kind of stick out around the edges). Then I make my escape to deeper water as soon as I can. But corner me on land and that's another story. Don't cross me there!
Which reminds me of last spring. I woke up, crawled out of the mud, and found my pond had been drained. Can you fathom that? So I decided I better go look for another watering hole. This teenager stops his car while I'm trying to cross the road and comes toward me with a big stick.
I think to myself, "You want to fight? Wait 'till I get my jaws on those pudgy toes hanging out of your sandals." But he uses the stick to push me to the other side of the road and gets back into his car and drives away. Go figure! As he drives off, he says,"Have a nice day, little dude!"
'Little dude', my foot! I must be twice his age!
Look, don't get me wrong. I don't have an attitude. I just watch out for myself. Hey, who are you looking at, anyway?
Before I give directions Im going out to plant this box now.. Bear with me it will be done today