Jorney to the Center of the Earth  LbNA # 42578

Placed DateAug 8 2008
LocationSt. Louis Park, MN
Found By Tracker JACS
Last Found Mar 23 2012
Hike Distance?

Jorney to the Center of the Earth

In a time long forgotten, the traces of the past can be seen.

We start our investigations at a prominent land mark on the Lilac Way. A large tower apparently claimed by a local potter, which is rumored to have Nordic Gnome Blood. At the base of this tower is a plaque claiming responsibility of this tower by some silly humans by the name of Peavey and Haglin. The true story is another matter. Upon closer examination it can be seen that this tower was formed horizontally. It is actually a sand tube formed by the great tube worms of the low lying sea Tethys. The secretions of these great worms were composed of great quantities of calcium from the wastes of the crustaceans it consumed. Its much smaller cousin can be found living at the deep sea vents of the Marianas Trench to this day. The tunnel system left by the Tube worms were used by great explorers of 200 million yeas ago. Vast distances could be covered in these tubes with ease during this period. An ingenious system of round capsules and the gaseous expulsions of the large vegetation consuming slugs that were so common during that time period. After the devastating attacks from the nearby star system of Groombridge 34, (which changed this planet from a single large continent (Panagea) with a shallow sea (Tethys), to the six large land masses we have today, nearly wiped out life on this rock and was caused by a simple misunderstanding of the proper way to brew ale), most of this transportation system was left in disarray. Parts were found intact by surviving explorers. Of these, the ancient Nordic Gnome races used these tunnels to access this area. At the time of last great famine of their homelands these peoples emigrated here and fearing an overwhelming migration of the Orcs, had this section of the transport system up ended with the help of a local dragon that was easily coerced into the job by the vast amounts of ale that gnomes are known to produce. After a great feast of much merriment, in which this dragon had become totally inebriated and had passed out cold. It has decided that the power of this dragon was probably going to be more of an ongoing threat than the Orcs, (since it was obvious he could not hold his ale). And nothing is really quite as tasty as fresh dragon flesh completely soaked in Gnome Ale. They ate him the next morning. Befitting a great Inebriated Dragon, the Gnomes constructed a tomb near the site of this occurrence. This tomb has gone largely unnoticed in these days of the hustle and bustle of our so called lives. But you, my friend, are invited to come and explore the remnants of this story.

Find the Lilac Way. Easily accomplished in the spring when the lilacs are in bloom. Just use your nose. Driving the Lilac Way you will see the Tube Worm tunnel that was lifted to it present position by the Dragon. The silly human vandals have painted a horned helmeted head on it. Read the plaque that has been installed here as a cover for the true story. It’s good for a couple of laughs. I mean Peavey and Haglin. Where do they come up with names like that?

Hop back on to your favorite mode of transport and follow the road around to the area of the feast. Park near the spot that has been claimed by D E Schimdt Inc. (This mark has been lost to desecration! Find the culdesac parking area for New and "improved" Lilac Park) To the southwest you will find four stone picnic tables, a couple of altars from which the gnomes gave some really compelling speeches, a large stone circle where even to this day many virgins lose their most prized possession, their cell phones.

This is site of the great feast. Look closely on the ground and you may find remnants of the dragon lying about. Diamonds and glass are commonly found within the gizzards of dragons. Go towards the eastern most altar(the reconstructed Beehive Fireplace). Looking to the south you will see an orange capped pole. It has something to do with the transport of ideas a great rate of speed. On this pole you may notice that someone has imprisoned one of the lessor demons, a largely unknown demon by the name by the name of Alex. Do not be afraid as he is thoroughly bound by a spell of the great Wizard of the Three M’s and will probably end his days wasting into the microns from which he came.

Looking up you see a trail, a very busy trail. I was nearly run down by the traffic moving in both directions with wheels attached to their feet and riding contraptions of various configurations. Some were running, others were moving at leisurely rates, but all breathing like they had been running for their lives from the latest orc invasion. We will call this the Huff and Puff trail. Fitting for a Dragons tomb. Turn towards the rising sun you should have a grand view of Worm Tube and see a couple of benches along with a “dis”information sign. This sign has lot of propaganda and disinformation on it. Also good for a couple of laughs, as you now know the true story. Turn towards the setting sun and walk towards it. Be careful not to be run down by the Huff and Puffs. Most will not acknowledge you. Some will grunt pathetically. Respond as you feel necessary, but do not try to engage them as no good can come of it, unless you find sport in the teasing of muggles.

Follow this trail, towards the setting sun, a relatively short distance. You will find another orange capped pole near the western bridge abutment. Stop here and assess your surroundings. The muggles will be watching you. Either wait, distract them, cast your best spell or enable your foremost stealthing abilities. Step into the brush at your best opportunity and crouch down. We do not want to give away the entrance to those pesky muggles. Here you should find the entrance to the Gnome Dragon Tomb. Most has been filled in with the sands of time. The letter box you seek is near here. Look for an unusually shaped bit of worm tube excrement. You know the routine, stamp it up and hide carefully .

I did not venture into the tomb as I am not ordained in the ways of the Gnomic Religion and am really crappy at disarming their traps. But feel free to risk your life, no one will ever hear from you again.

Pay your respects to the dragon and feel free to trade offerings with your fellow adventurers at the cache which is located near a tree and under some decaying logs about fifteen feet northeast down the bank.

In an effort to rewrite the glorious past of the Gnomes and The Dragon of the Worm Tube, the local muggles have taken it upon themselves to destroy the altars erected by the Gnomes. They have replaced them with some fine stone picnic tables. It appears that other “improvements” will be included. This may make it a little more difficult to follow the Trail of Truth I have set forth for you. You should still be able find the path to Axel’s imprisonment if you go to the most eastern stone picnic table and look for the path.

If you have any luck deciphering the runes, let your fellow adventures know. I have heard rumors of a vast treasure.