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Wild Cheese Moose Hunt LbNA #50241

Owner:Rainmaker
Plant date:Sep 7, 2009
Location:
City:Emmaus
County:Lehigh
State:Pennsylvania
Boxes:1
Found by: PA Vintners
Last found:Dec 28, 2009
Status:OFFF
Last edited:Sep 7, 2009
Back when I went to camp, it was not bears we went hunting for, but something far more dangerous - the wild cheese moose. The cheese moose is a rare breed of moose that can only eat government surplus processed cheese product. While the cheese product allowed the moose to grow to an extraordinary size, it did nothing for its disposition. This is one grumpy animal. A grumpy animal with glowing red eyes, huge sharp antlers, and fangs for teeth, since they never get ground down on vegetation.

To the Trailhead
From route 309 Northbound, exit at Emmaus Avenue and go south. Continue down the street about 1 mile and turn left onto Alpine Street. Follow Alpine down to a parking lot on the left near a playground. Park Here. Mapquest.com does a good job pinpointing it as “400 Alpine St., Emmaus, PA”

To the Letterbox

Refrain:
Going on a wild cheese moose hunt
I'm not afraid,
I've got my logbook!

Gate.
Metal gate.
Yellow gate.
Can't go through it,
Can't go under it,
Shouldn't go over it,
Go around it!

Trudge, trudge, trudge

Refrain

Mud.
Sticky mud.
Gloppy mud.
Can't go over it,
Can't go under it,
Shouldn't go around it,
Go through it!

Sqishy squashy, Sqishy squashy, Sqishy squashy

Refrain

Log.
Long log.
Low log.
Can't go under it,
Can't go through it,
Shouldn't go around it.
Go over it!

Step high, step high, step high

Refrain

Log.
Long log.
Hard log.
Can't over under it,
Shouldn't go around it,
Don't have to go over it.
Go through it!

Trudge, trudge, trudge

Refrain

Log.
Long log.
Low log.
Can't go under it,
Can't go through it.
Don't have to go over it.
Go around it!

Trudge, trudge, trudge

Refrain

Boardwalk.
Wide boardwalk.
Dry boardwalk.
Can't go under it.
Can't go through it.
Shouldn't go around it.
Go over it!

Clomp, clomp, clomp

Refrain

Y in the trail.
Can't go straight.
Can't turn around.
Don't want to go right.
Go left!

Trudge, trudge, trudge

Refrain

Log.
Long log.
Solid log.
Can't go under it.
Can't go through it.
Shouldn't go around it.
Go over it!

Step high, step high, step high

Refrain

Repeat above verse and refrain.

T in the trail.
Can't go straight.
Can't turn around.
Can't go left over the bridge (because it is an ecologically sensitive area)
Go right!

Trudge, trudge, trudge

Refrain

Overgrown trail.
Can't go under it.
Can't go over it.
Can't go around it.
Go through it!

swat, whack, ewww cobwebs.

Refrain.

T in the trail.
Can't go straight.
Can't turn around.
Can't go right.
Go left!

Trudge, trudge, trudge

Refrain

Mud with stepping stones.
Sticky mud.
wide mud.
Can't go under it.
Can't go over it.
Shouldn't go around it.
Go through it on the stepping stones!

Step teeter, step teeter, step teeter.

Refrain.

Repeat above verse and refrain.

Small stream.
Wet stream.
Cold stream.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Can't go through it.
Go over it!

Leap

Refrain

Stream.
Wet stream.
Wide stream.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Can't go through it.
Go over it on logs!

Shuffle balance, shuffle balance, shuffle balance.

Refrain

Logs.
Multiple logs.
High logs.
Can't go over them.
Can't go under them.
Don't have to go around them.
Go through them!

Duck, step and weave

Refrain

Signboard with barricade.
No sign.
Rather worn.
Can't go past it (private property).
Can't go under it.
Can't turn back.
Veer left.

Trudge, trudge, trudge

Refrain

Logs.
Double set.
Off the ground.
Can't go around them.
Can't go over them.
Go through them (and follow the second one to the left).

Trudge, trudge, trudge

Refrain

Stream
Wet stream.
Fast stream.
Can't go under it.
Can't go through it.
Can't go around it.
Cross it on the pile of rocks up stream with a handrail.

Balance, step. Balance, step. Balance step.

Refrain, louder this time.

As you lean against the handrail to catch your breath after the perilous stream crossing, note the "cave" (use your imagination here, there is no person let alone extra large moose size cave here) in the large rocks on the hillside ahead. It looks like the sort of place a wild cheese moose may make its lair. Slowly and quietly approach the cave. (note the not so suspicious pile of rocks just inside)

Cave.
Dark cave.
Icky cave.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Can't go over it.

Grope, stumble, grope.

Bump.
Hot rancid breath on your face.
Reach to the left, one large vicious antler.
Reach to the right, another large vicious antler.
Feel ahead to the left with both hands, one large squishy eyeball.
Feel ahead to the right with both hands, another large squishy eyeball.
Feel right ahead, two sharp fangs.
Ahhhhhh, wild cheese moose!
Throw up your logbook and bash the beast on it's slimy nose.

Run back down the hill,
Across the stream,
Through the logs,
Veer right at the sign,
Through the fallen trees.
Balance across the stream.
Leap across the stream.
Teeter across the mud puddles.
Go straight at the T (instead of going up the overgrown trail) for a shortcut.
Go left at the Y (puts you back on the trail).
Go over logs three times.
Over the boardwalk.
Around the log.
Through the log.
Over the log.
Through the mud.
Around the gate (or hurdle it if you're moving too fast to change direction).
Into the car.
Back to the house.
In the front door.
Up the stairs.
Under the bed.
Back down the stairs.
Shut the front door.
Up the stairs.
Under the bed.

We're never going on a wild cheese moose hunt again.

(Bring a pen as the letterboxes doesn't have one)

Enjoy.
The Scattered Showers