100 Ways for Barbie to Die: Flame War  LbNA # 60970

OwnerWisconsin Hiker      
Placed DateFeb 24 2012
LocationEast Peoria, IL
Found By
Last Found
Hike Distance1-2 mi
Last EditedMay 14 2016

Last checked/found: 24-FEB-12.

Our friend Shorty started a project to plant 100 boxes in Illinois depicting different ways for Barbie to die, so we decided to make a few contributions to his big project.

Location: FLAMEWAR EROSIVE (In the first word, exchange the W with a different letter, then unscramble. Add two Rs to the second word, then unscramble.) Park near the signboard in the large parking area on the east side of B. Road.

Terrain: Winding & hilly dirt trail through fields & woodlands

Time/Distance: ~1 hour roundtrip, approximately 1.5-2 miles.

Poor Barbie! Over much of her life she has been under attack. Many accuse her of having unrealistic body dimensions while others criticize her wardrobe. She tries to monitor all the forums and message boards on the Internet to respond to these haters. She tells them that her dimensions are actually equivalent to a bust measurement of only 34.5 inches and a hip measurement of 30.5 inches. She also points out that she has been a trailblazer, a woman who took jobs outside of the home, showing girls that they, too, could grow up to be a teacher, a lawyer, a doctor, an astronaut, or a Nascar driver.

While she was working at her job as a computer engineer recently, she checked a popular forum and saw that a troll had made a post, asserting that Barbie was the essence of self-centered self-fulfillment.

She felt compelled to respond, and posted that she has been a good role model. She's been a dentist, a vet, a palaeontologist, an astronaut, a firefighter, a sign language teacher and a paratrooper. Many of these are very helping professions. She has even been a presidential candidate (well that might not have gotten her a lot of points!).

The troll then cruelly claimed that Barbie was based on a German "porn doll".

Barbie was hurt and replied that she has been a strong independent woman and that no one would ever imagine her sucking up to men, cowering, being bullied, intimidated or being sexually harassed.

The flame war continued to escalate and other members joined the battle by posting their own inflammatory remarks.

Ultimately it was just too much for poor Barbie…

To discover her shocking demise, take the trail to the left of the signboard, passing the “No, No, No” sign.

Cross a cinder road and then make your way over a small bridge.

Travel through a field and into the woods.

Cross a bridge, then head right. Cross another bridge, then head left on wide path.

Watch on the right for the equine way and follow it to the water’s edge.

Head left along the bank and then stay straight when you reach an intersection with a main trail. Eventually you will head up, away from the water.

Pass a ravine on the right, cross a plank, and then choose a route around a tree island.

Keep a lookout for a tall naked snag on the right, and then continue around the curve a short ways until you reach a single tree on the right side of the trail.

You’ll know you are at the right tree if you spot the tall fat snag at 130° and a skinny naked snag at 310°.

From here, take the narrow trail at 35° for 30 steps. Barbie has been laid to rest under the “V” of a fallen limb. Replace her carefully so others can learn about the dangers of flame wars.

Return to the main trail and continue onward in the same direction you were heading. Make the right choice at a “Y” with a sign, and then take a right at a “T”. Travel across a field, then into the woods. Take a left at the next “T” near a red post. When you reach a road, take a right and follow it back to the parking lot.

We’d appreciate an email to let us know how the box is doing.