Doonesbury Series  LbNA # 62187

OwnerWisconsin Hiker      
Placed DateMay 19 2012
LocationBarneveld, WI
Found By Angel Winks
Last Found Nov 10 2012
Hike Distance3-5 mi
Last EditedMay 14 2016

Last checked/found: 9-JUN-12

Location: The “sad color” “hill” park
Time/Distance: 2-2.5 hour loop (~3-3.5 miles)
Terrain: Rolling, rocky, root-y trail. Some areas will be mushy-gushy after a rain or snow melt.

Mike Doonesbury is guilty about taking a new ad agency assignment to promote smoking to teens. He decided to take a hike to think things through. He drove to the center of the park and left his car between the two towers, roughly north of the large shelter and near the tnilF kcoR trail head. He headed north along the trail and noticed some boulders along the way. They reminded him that he was stuck “between a rock and a hard place” in terms of his new assignment. He kept straight through an intersection, crossed a small bridge and then decided to head left at a “T”. He took a rest on a bench where he debated the need for a job to support his family vs. the shame of promoting a dangerous habit. He continued on and then headed right at a “Y” and almost immediately decided to abandon the wide trail for a small narrow path on the left. He noted a TMF1 at the start of the path and later passed TMF2. He continued to walk on for quite a while, pondering his big decision, crossing some fallen logs and noticing a leaning tree with its base right in the center of the path. Eventually he walked around a large boulder on his right and then stopped at a boulder on his left. He noticed a suspicious object below it and wondered what it was all about. He decided to take a rest nearby to contemplate his moral dilemma. From the boulder he walked on a bearing of 310 degrees to a mossy/leafy rock near a leaning tree. He settled in behind the rock near the base of the tree.

Mike fell asleep and began to dream…. A large cigarette character appeared and sauntered along the trail in the same direction Mike had been heading. He said his name was Mr. Butts and that cigarettes were getting a bad rap for nothing. He easily crossed over a fallen tree and claimed that “Getting hooked on cigarettes is fun – and surprisingly easy!” He walked over a dry stream crossing and insisted that smoking could be a “Glamorous new habit for life”. He stopped when he got to two fallen logs on the left, with a small leaning “V” tree between the logs. He spotted a boulder a bit further back, south of the trail, and decided to hang out there for a while to see if any folks would like to make his acquaintance. He continued to make outrageous statements to his visitors: “Is it safe? Heck yes! Just check out the filter! Believe me, nuthin gets by that baby!

After bumming a pack from Mr. Butts, Uncle Duke continued further along the trail and eventually crossed another dry creek to get to the opposite side of a ravine. Uncle Duke was an epic consumer of drugs and alcohol. As he walked he reminisced about writing for “Rolling Stone” magazine in the 70s, and his several prestigious positions overseas. Later he crossed another dry creek and passed a very large boulder on the right, with a bowing tree at the north point of the rock. He continued a bit further and then stopped between a cut log. He then recalled how he was arrested for smuggling drugs in Florida after he returned to the U.S. and, after he was released, founded a grossly fraudulent medical school where he hosted a designer drug conference. “Hmmm, might be time to try something new” he thought. The large boulder on his left looked like a great place to establish a new base of operations. His new office is on the west side of the rock, nestled between two small logs beneath the larger fallen tree.

Thinking back on the old days, Uncle Duke wondered what his ersatz “nephew” was up to these days. Zonker Harris was actually not too far away, catching some rays to improve his tan and talking to various forest plants. Zonker had traveled this same trail only a week or so earlier. However he had continued past the cut log and traveled alongside a dry creek, then crossed another dry creek. He was searching for his beloved “Walden Puddle”, but nothing along the way could compare. He noticed a large “V” on the right at a turn in the trail. After crossing yet another dry creek he continued on a short ways until he noticed two small boulders on the right and an almost hidden woodpecker restaurant (a shreddin place, not a "hole-in-the-wall") on the left near a fallen tree. He decided this would be a great place for a new slacker hangout, so he went to the back of the rock behind the fallen tree and settled in to work on his tan.

To return to your starting point, continue along the trail until you reach a “T”. Take a left, then a right at the next major intersection. You’ll then arrive back at the main parking loop between the shelters.

Please let me know how these characters are doing if you pay them a visit. Thanks!