The Goast Box LbNA # 6691 (ARCHIVED)
|Placed Date||Dec 8 2003|
|Location||New Haven, CT|
19 years ago give or take a couple, 2 brothers born Ren the evil one and Jene the not so evil one. Separated at birth by the incompetent stupid nurse Joy “accidentally”. They both grew up to totally different lives. Ren grew up in the lap of luxury and Jene grew up in the slums of the ghetto. Remarkably and rather eerily, they both were accepted to the same collage, Yale. 1 day both received an e-mail telling them if how to acquire youth, immortality and a duck. The mysterious man calmed that he new there names the guys name was Smitty Werbermanjenson. He told them to go to mapquest.com and get directions to the Sound School 60 South Water Street. Jene being the evil perfectionist he was wrote letters to all of his professors telling them off. Ren being the super evil wild child he just went around running and screaming and telling off his professors in person. So the quest began for youth, immortality…and a duck.
They set out immediately on their quest. Jene wasted time to find something to kick and got arrested by officer Jenny for supposable kicking a puppy. But was promptly let go from her custody. By the time he reached the brick building at the end of 60 South Water Street that said Sound School. On The front of it Ren had already started on the journey for what Smitty had promised him. Jene followed suit and parked in the parking lot. He followed his compass north and passed a marsh on the right, which stank like an Indian burial ground and the scoreboard on the left. He kept walking till he reached a ash fault serpent snake. He kept running until he reached a cement gray ramp leading to the head of the trail, which was east. He went into the forest were rocks look like… rocks and shrubs look like… shrubs. He followed it 80 degrees and past 2 posts on the right that had some sort of writing on it. Meanwhile Ren was not far ahead, he slowed by his need to fulfill his purely beastly needs. The need to do some thing utterly terrible, he had to… urinate. Jene, being the perfectionist he was did what his he was told to as a child and that was to “go before he left the house” or in this case the McDonalds around the corner. Jene soon reached a fork in the road, consulted the map on where he unfortunately got savory southwestern sauce on it earler, and could not figure it out. He figured what the hell, flipped a coin, and went 140degrees. He noticed something when he got to the trail he saw that all the trees were split in half. Jene was close he could feel it along with the three Big Mac’s he had. Just then Jene was waked in the face with what he hoped was mud and then were hit with a 2x4. It was Ren he thought it was a ghost of a curious monkey called Gorge. So then, Ren ran off down the path with out going down the bridge to his right. He as soon as he came to a tree that looks like a “v” and then stopped and whipped out his compass out of his pants pocket and looked 58 degrees like it said and saw something behind the trees and shrubs. He saw something shimmer behind the rocks. Just then, the wind picked up, the earth shook, and suddenly floating in the air was a 300 hp jet-black Ferrari speedboat. Ren was frozen with fear and he immediately knew who it was it was Smetty Worbermanjenson the self proclaimed # 1 of … every thing. As if waiting for something a white duck comes out of know where opened up his beak and said “Aflac” by the time the duck uttered those last words Smetty had beaten him with his famed …MASSIVE PILLOW OF DEATH!!! With only 2 blows he was dead. And then Smetty took Ren’s body and put it in the trunk of his boat. Jene seeing this all while hiding behind a dog. Ran and grab the duck by the neck and the duck screamed “Aflac!!, Aflaaaaaaaaaaaaaac!!” Smetty welled around with his bloody pillow and ordered Jene to put the duck down. Jene did as he was ordered to do and the duck cleared its throat and said “Aflac, Afla sorry I had something in my thought.” “you can talk!” said Jene. “Yes I can talk I also was the stunt double for the Howard the Duck, but that isn’t important what I am here to tell you that youth and immortality is yours as long as you promise one thing” “Any thing” said Jene “That you will never return here and that you will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever urinate in these woods like that other brute” “Of course” said Jene. Just then Jene was surrounded by pink and purple clouds and turned into a BABY! Then Smetty the flying Scotsman roared “Get into my Belly!” and gulped down Jene with one gulp and disappeared into I-95 never to be saw again or found. The duck threw a hat, jacket, and cane on and strutted out of the woods never to be heard from again and never returned to the wood since.
To this day Jene and Ren haven’t been found and neither has the supposed kicked puppy. As for the duck, he’s livin the high life doing T.V. commercials, guess for who. The Scotsman is currently is in Vegas doing three shows a night patiently waiting for someone to try to find his booty.
Thank you for reading this story and please tell outher people about it. Rich and Wesly